When do you get time for mom?
My daughter is now 5 months and 1 day old. I’m sitting in front of the TV, alone, and half a bottle of wine gone realizing that its been a long time. This is the first time that I have been able to sit and do for me since my baby has been born. When do you get time for mom?
Of course I choose this time to write a blog post!!
Since the moment she has entered this world, my world has been my baby girl.
Every moment I’m awake (and sleeping) my thoughts have been focused on what needs to be done next in order to take care of her. Even as I sit down to write this blog I am staring at her move around on her baby monitor. I’m debating if I should lie next to her because I know she sleeps better when I am there.
Even though I love being a mom and I still am in awe of this little creature that I have created, I sometime miss the life I had before her. The life where I could wake up and be out the house within 30 minutes. Or the life when I could sit for hours and have “dumb dumb time” aka sitting in front of the TV and not thinking of anything but who Olivia Pope really is.
I’m sitting here realizing that I have to do better. Yes my new identity is her mother. But there are other parts of me that I have neglected these past 5 months.
How do I navigate this thing called motherhood?
How do I take the time to be me without feeling guilty? It’s a balance I am slowly learning, but I am determined to create. I can’t be a great mom if I am an unhealthy me.
For now I will sit here, finish my bottle of wine, and stare at the baby monitor, in awe of this little creature that came from me!!
When Keyona and I started throwing around the idea of writing a blog, I started writing and discovered a love I didn’t know I had. You go through so many emotions after becoming a mom and looking back on this post I can see how much growth I have had throughout this past year. I’ve learned to cherish the little moments because they grow so damn fast! It’s ok to love and “spoil” your baby because they quickly develop their own identities and will not need you as much.
You don’t understand until you experience it.
It’s been almost 7 months since I started writing this post and looking back on what I originally wrote, I am proud of my growth as an individual and a mother. No matter how much you think you are prepared to be a parent, you really cannot understand until you become a parent.
All of the parenting books, blogs, Facebook groups, and information provided on the internet can overload you with information. But it wasn’t until my husband and I were home with our baby, that it finally hit us that we are parents and we cannot give this child back.
Since having my daughter, I have grown so much as person, wife, and as a mother.
I know that I am just beginning this parenthood journey and I will look back on this post one day and probably write another update to reflect the continued growth I will have as a parent.
If I could go back in time and speak to myself parenting a newborn, these are some of the things I would say:
- Hold that baby, don’t worry about spoiling her. She is only this little once, and you will never get this time back!
- You are capable of taking care of your baby. Your baby does not know, nor does she care, if you are doing something right or wrong.
- It’s OK to put yourself first sometimes! How are you supposed to pour into someone else if you are not functioning at 100%? Even if it is a 15 minute uninterrupted hot shower, find something to do one time a week for you.
- Utilize your support. Don’t be afraid to mess up because you are going to mess up!
- Continue to build your relationship with your significant other. You are more than just that child’s parents!
- You are human. Someone will always have an opinion about what you are doing and how you are doing it. Don’t let that s%$! stress you out!
- Remember to enjoy this time. Ask yourself, is this going to be important one year from now? Will this impact my child’s life? Don’t stress the small stuff and love on your baby as much as possible.
- Forgive yourself, forgive others, and keep moving forward. Set goals for your family, but also set goals for yourself.
- You are capable of balancing motherhood, personal life, and professional life.
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